Under the Mercy
Photo by Emily Turner
By Troy Caldwell
When we entrust ourselves to Mercy, it moves us steadily toward wholesome and life-giving letting go. Herbert Benson, a cardiologist and founder of the Mind/Body Medical Institute at Massachusetts General Hospital, taught that the Jesus Prayer arose in his research as the most powerful of tools.
“Lord Jesus Christ, son of God, have mercy on me!” Reciting this prayer, he argued, enables people to turn off the fear and stress response, turning on the relaxation response. A tradition of meditation arose early in Christendom that utilized this prayer as a focal point for concentration as disciples sought earnestly to arouse the sense of God’s presence.
I am thankful that I am under God’s mercy. Mercy, the Great Weaver, collects and binds together the scattered and broken part of our lives into a tapestry of Divine Love. “Chesed, the Hebrew word, signifies a fierce, bonding love as between lovers. “Loving Kindness” is its frequent translation. Chesed is not about pity so much as about passion. It is the love of God that seeks and chooses His chosen people and binds them to Himself.
Mercy, the common English translation, sometimes evokes the notion of forgiveness and fear. It is as if someone were about to beat you up and you cry, “Have mercy on me!” Yet, when thinking of chesed, we should instead think of a bond, an infallible link of love that holds the created and uncreated realms together.
The mercy of God does not come and go, granted to some and not to others. It is unconditional, eternal, universal. It is literally the force that holds everything in existence, the gravitational field in which we live, move and have our being. Psalms 103 suggests, “Swim in mercy like an endless sea.” Mercy is God’s bond of unbreakable love.
I remember when I was in the hospital following the birth of my first child, Kristen. I lifted her up on that first morning after the excitement of the birth had passed. Just Mom and Dad having some quiet moments with their first-born child. As I held the back of her head with one hand and extended her little frame to my arm’s length with the other - I simply beheld her. Our eyes met and we gazed at one another for long minutes, looking deeply and quietly into one another. A bond was made in those moments that has easily lasted these forty years. It will last eternally. Kristen and I formed chesed. Such is the mercy of God. The difference in power between Kristen and me did not matter. We had formed the bond of love. So, it is with God.
I once counseled a woman in spiritual direction who could actually “see” the exchange of mercy, of love, of chesed as it took place. When we would experience a moment of deep rapport or excitement together over an insight, she imagined a sparkling fairy-dust light passing between our two hears in a figure eight. I did not see the light but I felt a happy, warm glow in my chest, affirming her more visualized reality.
Sandy Patty sang of the same reality in “It’s Your Song Lord.” God and I sing together and create a circuit between our heart.
“It’s Your song, Lord;
You created music so we could sing.
So we’ll send the melody right back around.
And make a perfect circle with the sound.
We love to lift our voices, Lord.
’Cause every time we do,
We’re singing Your song for You.
”
Experience the fullness of God’s most passionate bonding love as a Tinkerbellian spray of light, a strange Wesleyan warming of the heart, or a circuit singing in your soul. But, whatever you do, follow the advice of Ephesians 3:19 and “know this love that surpasses knowledge — that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” And, then, give thanks.
“Lord Jesus Christ, son of God, have mercy on me!”
Let us imagine amplifying this plea to mean “Lord Jesus, be bonded with me. I need your energy and grace to flow through my heart and soul. I need and trust in your love.”
Indeed, it is the testimony of may that a holy bonding love flows when the Jesus Prayer is recited. So, may the steadfast love of the Lord never cease in you. May His chesed never come to an end.
With gratitude for the many borrowings from Mystical Hope by Cynthia Bourgeault
Under the Mercy was written by Troy Caldwell and originally published in House of Love, a publication of Retreat House Spirituality Center. You can purchase a copy here. In the tradition of Dr. Gerald May, Troy Caldwell, MD., is a psychiatrist and a spiritual director. Troy is also a covenant partner of Retreat House. Send Troy a note.