Home

Photo by Emily Turner

By Clay Brantley

I’ve searched and searched

To find a home

But I’ve lived in the same house

For years.

I am not settled

Though I don’t want to move.

I keep traveling, looking, wandering, seeking

Yet I keep returning to the same place.

I pray, I cry out.

I sit in silence.

Yet here I do not belong.

Something stirs and calls me forth.

I look around.

I see all my stuff.

I see my family and my heritage.

I see my deep roots in the church.

Isn’t all this enough

For me to be at home?

I like it here. I am comfortable.

I have all I need.

Yet something moving within

Whispers I don’t

And I become uncomfortable and restless.

My heart says love.

Love what? I ask in reply.

Love what is.

What are you talking about?

I am trying to find where I belong.

I want to settle down, to be comfortable.

I want to be at home.

Love the sky.

Love the trees.

Love the animals and all you can see.

Love your family.

Love your neighbor.

Love your enemy.

Most of all

Love yourself.

When and as you love

More and more

You will discover home

That’s it.

That’s what you’ve got.

Love.

How hard is that?

This is the most difficult task.

It asks of you.

All you have and all you are.

A price few are willing to pay.

It is a long journey.

One not taken by the faint of heart.

In learning to love

There will be much you do not wish to see.

There will be much you do not wish to feel.

There will be much that will break and open you up.

Be bold. Be courageous. Trust.

You will find your way

For the light of love shines in the darkness

And you will be at home

Wherever you truly love

Unsettled though you may be

Home was written by Rev. Dr. Clay Brantley and originally published in House of Love, a publication of Retreat House Spirituality Center. You can purchase a copy here.

Clay is one of the directors of Retreat House. He is a pastor and trained spiritual director. Send Clay a note.