Creating Space: The Circle Way
My mind immediately went to my days as a Girl Scout, sitting around the warm, orange fire at a campground in East, Texas. The fire was impressive - rather loud and crackling, and large - not simple and sweet like the songs we sang while sitting around it.
Then my heart filled with warm memories of my mom’s dedication and love for Girl Scouts. How she fell in love with the both the community and tradition as well as the connection to nature it offered. I remembered how her mother, my grandmother, also served as a Scout leader, and how my mother would tell stories of my grandmother inventing various ways to cook food around the fire.
I smile, remembering that I didn’t love camping like my mother. But that was okay. She never made me feel badly about that.
“You have the things you love,” she would say. “And, that’s good.”
I didn’t love the camping part of Scouts like Mom, but I liked some of the other aspects - the structure it offered during the school week, the friendships. She taught me that we all have something to bring to the campsite, to the “troop.”
I’m so grateful for her willingness to see and listen.
An Invitation
Last week, as I participated in a Circle Way discussion, each attendee was invited to imagine a campfire and to notice what feelings and memories emerged. Unexpectedly, my mind’s eye took me right back to a cold Texas night when I was about 9 years old as a Scout. As I recalled my grandmother’s passion for serving and teaching Girl Scouts, I was reminded of my maternal ancestry, and the legacy we all carry within us.
Amazing how much can “come up” with just a simple invitation. Rev. Dr. Lil Smith and Lila Morisee, PhD, are facilitating a virtual six-week discussion and book study around Circle Way leadership. This method of gathering is inspired by original styles of communicating - our ancestors who literally came together around a fire to talk, to make decisions, to listen.
Everyone brings something to the campfire," shares Smith. "As we sit around the fire, what do you bring to the circle?"
According to the book Circle Way: A Leader in Every Chair , this communication style is described as a process that allows us to go back to our roots. In a literal sense, we are both honoring the communication styles of our lineage as well as tapping into the truest part of ourselves as we engage in the methodology offered through Circle Way which creates invitations to listen, to speak more thoughtfully, and to lean into shared purpose.
As an introvert who spent several years in corporate environments where I left feeling drained and unheard, I’m looking forward to engaging in this study and recently connected with both Smith and Morisee to gain more insight into their work and affinity with the Circle.
Why a Circle?
When did you first become familiar with Circle Way and how did you incorporate it into your work?
Smith: I first became familiar with Circle Way in seminary when I began spiritual direction training. It was a great model for setting the container for group spiritual direction.
Morisee: I became aware of this process when Lil asked me to offer it at Retreat House a few years ago as a year-long practice.
How and in what ways have you seen Circle Way create save and creative spaces?
Smith: It creates safe, strong, creative space. It is a space to collect your thoughts and speak intentionally. It is a strong space as it provides a container to talk about conflict. It is a creative space to discover and explore. It challenges the leadership to be creative with the center focal point, the role of the guardian, the structure of the meeting.
Morisee: The structure and form combined with the principles and practices plus the circle configuration seem to set people at ease and promote trust.
In your own words, will you describe the phrase “a leader in every chair?”
Smith: I have been part of meetings where it was very obvious the agenda and outcomes had been decided prior to the meeting. I found this practice demeaning and disheartening. A leader in every chair values the person and the thoughts and feelings of everyone in the room.
Morisee: Everyone is valued for their contribution. The talking stick makes it possible for each person to have a say. At the same time, silent participation is honored. Leadership and responsibility for the group are shared.
Why do you think now is a good time to implement and practice Circle Way?
Smith: In Circle Way groups, I actually feel heard. Imagine our world if we were truly able to hear and respect the different experiences and beliefs of others.
Morisee: In these times of divisiveness, polarization, high anxiety and fear, we particularly need a collaborative model for gathering where we can work on agendas and concerns where everyone is valued.
Is the Circle Way something that can be used in both corporate and noncorporate environments?
Smith: Absolutely. The intentions of the meetings are different but the container and process are the same.
Morisee: It’s a form and methodology that has been tried and found successful in a variety of settings. In my experience, the Circle Way invites and encourages a deep sharing in the presence of mystery.
Is the Circle Way meaningful even if someone only uses some aspects of it? Or is it a more full experience to adhere to the complete model and guide of Circle Way leadership?
Smith: In our experience at RH, creating a new group in the Circle Way is very successful. It is more difficult to convert a group that has already adopted bad habits. It takes time and can be difficult to break bad habits: cross-talk, creating agendas, etc.
Morisee: The more completely the Circle Way is practiced, the greater the benefits.
What is your hope and vision for the Circle Way leadership offering through RH? How is the model already being used at RH and what is your hope for this process being modeled beyond RH?
Smith: As more people experience the process, the model can be used and adapted for more circles. Reading about something and experiencing the process are two different ways of learning. Retreat House offers the container for both of these experiences, embracing the wholeness of a person:
Thoughts
Feelings
Sensory responses
Part or all of this model can be adapted to existing circles. I find the role of the Guardian to be unique and significant to the success of Circle Way.
What is the Guardian’s role?
Smith: The Guardian is charged to create safety in the space and to create safety for each person. Most meetings have become outcome oriented. What if the only expectation of the meeting was to be present to others in the Circle? In this way, we can truly discern the good of all instead of our biases and agendas clouding the room.
Creating the Circle
Prior to hosting a Circle Way meeting, it is helpful to prepare. Basic guidelines can be found here to assist you in collecting resources and cultivating a mindset as well as setting expectations for your Circle Way meeting.
To begin, we’ve provided some initial groundwork to give you an idea of how to start:
Setting Circle Agreements - The use of agreements allows all members to have a free and profound exchange, to respect diversity of views and to share responsibility for the well-being and direction of the group. Agreements often used include:
We hold all stories or personal material in confidentiality.
We listen to each other with compassion and curiosity.
We ask for what we need and offer what we can.
We agree to employ a group guardian to watch our need, timing and energy.
We agree to pause at a signal when we feel the need to pause.
2. Three Principles
Leadership rotates among all circle members
Responsibility is shared for the quality of experience.
Reliance is on wholeness, rather than personal agenda.
3. Three Practices
Speak with intention: noting what has relevance to the conversation in the moment.
Listen with attention: respectful of the learning process for all members of the group.
Tend to the well-being of the circle: remaining aware of the impact of our contributions.
As stated in the Circle Way guidelines:
“What transforms a meeting into a circle is the willingness of people to shift from informal socializing or opinionated discussion into a receptive attitude that embodies the Circle Way practices and structures.”
Just as the imagery in my first Circle Way session reminded me of my mother’s willingness to listen and see me around a fire as well as my connection to those who have gone before me - this process invites all of us into a more embodied way of gathering, discussing and making decisions.
Instead of leaving the meeting with sweaty armpits and anxiety, perhaps this offers a way that allows more of our sensations, feelings, histories and opinions to be valued, within the meeting space.
As cultural and political divisions continue to cause fear and anxiety, I can’t think of a better time to learn this new way of being. Perhaps this Circle Way extends opportunities to heal as opposed to sending us further away from one another and ourselves?
Would you join us?
To learn more about Circle Way and guidelines for this methodology, you can visit their website here. You can also reach out to Lil or Lila to inquire about Circle Way offerings through Retreat House.
Creating Space: The Circle Way was written by Emily Turner , a trained spiritual director and writer. She would love to hear from you.