A smooth, hard covering on the outside. Soft body on the inside.

Nautilus shells possess the ability to swim to the depths of the ocean. And it is both the squishy meat of the mollusk combined with their hard shell that make them perfectly engineered for this kind of swimming.

What might we have to learn from these sea creatures?

Rev. Brian Hardesty Crouch is both a trained spiritual director and supervisor who describes the spiritual life much like the life of a nautilus shell.

The mollusk has room to expand. And the organism continues to swim.

Spiritual direction and supervision are places to explore various compartments of our interior, giving participants a place to explore their true self without judgement. During this time, individuals are invited to release the need to fix or label their experiences or self. This ministry is one with some structure but with room to adjust and grow, allowing individuals to continue to nurture and heal themselves as they seek God - it is a place that values freedom from judgement.

While direction and supervision might look and feel similarly, supervision is for the director – a time to pause and ask “What is the Spirit highlighting in me?” It is a time for spiritual directors to gather with their peers as well as a supervisor in a confidential group. This serves as a setting where recent sessions with directees are handled with curiosity and care and also a time where best practices might be shared.

Since supervision is integral to the growth and self-compassion for directees, we thought it might be helpful to spend some time on the topic, and we’re grateful to Hardesty-Crouch for sharing some of his insights!

Supervision: A time to look inward

Retreat House: How were you originally called into the ministry of spiritual direction?

Hardesty-Crouch: After several years in local church ministry, I found myself increasingly hungry spiritually. I kept getting drawn to contemplative practices like lectio divina which led me to begin to look for more ways to practice living contemplatively.

About the same time, I started to hear about spiritual direction, and it sounded like something that might be a fit even though I had yet to participate in spiritual direction. I soon found my way to a training program for direction and no longer after that thought I really like this - I want to get trained as a supervisor as well.

Retreat House: Let’s talk some about the purpose of supervision. I’ve noticed that there can be a tendency to look at supervision as a place to talk about the directee or even though practical side of this ministry, but I know that is not the main purpose. Could you speak some to this tension?

Hardesty-Crouch: During supervision, we are invited to bring into the light the things that distract us and make us stumble – the things we get hung up on. So often what comes up in supervision are the things that keep us, as spiritual directors, from sitting open-handed with our directee.

But it isn’t always so serious. Supervision can really be a time to cherish the joys that we experience in this ministry as directors.  In supervision, we have a chance to be present with what God is doing in the lives of our directees as well as our own spiritual journeys.

Spiritual direction: Finding your own words

Retreat House: I am curious and love to ask folks who are doing this work to describe spiritual direction in their own terms. Would you share in your words?

Hardesty-Crouch: I see it as accompanying people to help them see God in their everyday life.  In a relationship between a directee and director, there is kind of a ramp of learning to know each other and building trust. As the trust grows, they share more and more of what is happening in their life. And this, to me, is such holy ground – to walk carefully, to accompany without helping or fixing too much.

Retreat House: This is a dance indeed. Would you speak a little bit more about the nuances of these relationships?

Hardesty-Crouch: Well, one aspect that comes to mind is the ebb and flow of these relationships. As the director, I have experienced some relationships that seem like they sort of reach a fork in the road. Perhaps there is a shift in the directee or director, where they feel like maybe enough sharing has occurred between the two. It doesn’t mean something is off or bad, the season might have come to a natural conclusion.

“I remember one directee who explained that they were interested in being in new kinds of relationship together – like creative collaborators and friends. This sometimes is just a normal progression. It is important to name it.”

Supervision: A place to notice several threads

Retreat House: As a spiritual director who participates in supervision regularly, I’ve noticed sometimes it can be challenging to pick just one focus in supervision. Often, I wonder what to bring to these sessions. Any thoughts on that?

Hardesty-Crouch: In group supervision and 1:1 supervision, the person presenting is asked to bring a focus question or statement. There could be several potential threads to explore but selecting just one focus usually provides a good entry point and then discovery time can bring up a variety of threads. Sometimes a supervisee can struggle when they provide too much in a focus statement.

My focus usually starts with I want to explore… and then I name something that I noticed inside of me during a direction session. The thing to watch out for is the temptation to say things about the directee or what is going on with the directee in the journey. Supervision really is a time to hold the director in love, safety and prayer so they might be more aware of themselves and life in God.

It is a time to trust the process.

Retreat House: What does that statement mean to you?

Hardesty-Crouch: I think about Jesus. Jesus said - you believe in God, believe also in me. Then, the statement about Him talking about His Father’s house with many mansions. He tells us over and over to not be afraid, to not worry. These are all invitations to trust. I know this is easier said than done. You asked about spiritual practices earlier. One prayer that has helped me cultivate trust and brings me back to the present which I accept as God is a breath prayer.

Retreat House: Would you share it?

Hardesty-Crouch: Sure! It is from one of Rev. Dr. Amy Oden’s books:

This simple and beautiful prayer helps me trust and release some of my clinging and grasping in an effort to will things to go my way. It helps me to rest in the present, to rest in God.

Retreat House: Jesus says there are many mansions in His Father’s house. Perhaps He be saying - no need to feel cramped. There is room. There is room to walk down the hallway, up the stairs, to sit in the window seat and look out to the sea or to the trees blowing in the wind. You can go down to the basement if you need to. Then, maybe up to the attic and in a closet.

Just like the mollusk in the nautilus shell, could He be inviting us into a spacious place so we might swim to the depths of ourselves with Him, to know, to see, to trust God and ourselves? There is room for it all. And spaces like spiritual direction and supervision are safe shells in which we might grow.

Amen.

If you are interested in joining a spiritual direction supervision group through Retreat House, send our co-founder Rev. Dr. Lil Smith a note!

To inquire about supervision with questions or to discuss this part of the ministry, these Retreat House covenant partners are trained as supervisors:

• Lil Smith

• Lee Jarrell

• Nancy Dunkerly

This article was written by Emily Turner Watson. Emily is a trained spiritual director, storyteller and writer. Connect with her here.