Something Inside of Me Loosens Its Grip: A Reflection on Psalm 90:1-6, 13-17

Something Inside of Me Loosens It's Grip: A Reflection on Psalm 90:1-6, 13-17 

"Make us happy for the same amount of time you have afflicted us."

These words pop out of the text and speak right to my heart. The Psalmist gets to the root of the matter, the root of what I'm facing right now, the root of what so many of us are facing.

Grief. Fear. Uncertainty. A loss of feeling happy. Something I consider to be different than joy.

The loss of celebrations, milestones, time together. The loss of plans, ideas, possiblity. The actual loss of life, of loved ones. The loss of time. Somedays, no amount of positive thinking, prayer or innovative living can cure me of my affliction. The Psalmist acknowledges this reality straight up asking God to restore what was lost, to make new what has fallen away.

We don't know what the future holds these days, and frankly, it isn't a happy feeling. 

Yet.

Something inside of me loosens its grip. I feel the Psalmist words almost giving me permission to say, "Wow, this is hard. This hurts. Uncle!" Perhaps the Psalmist might even say, "I know, it is, right? But, you're not the first generation to have issues or experience pain. And You won't be the last."

Those before us have cried out to the Holy One. We can, too. We should! We need to see the Lord's Holy acts, His acts of compassion. May we rejoice when those come so that God's glory might be more fully revealed.

When that day arrives, will we tell others what we've seen? Will we create and live in new ways? Will we allow this love to transform us so we might transform others and the world?

What do you want to say to God today? How do you need Divine compassion? Do you remember a time God has delivered your ancestors, children, parents or maybe a time God has delivered you? Consider writing, sharing with a trusted friend, drawing or singing this prayer. 

Come Holy Spirit. And, remember, have compassion for yourself!

God is the same, yesterday, today and tomorrow. May we have the eyes to see and the ears to hear. Amen.

Listen to Rev. Dr. Lil Smith's Guided Meditation for Praying the Lectionary for Psalm 90:1-6, 13-17.

Invitation

As you experience the practice of praying the lectionary, adopt a loving, caring and compassionate stance. If the end of your prayer and meditation time is not pointing to love and hope, there is more work to do. Keep wrestling. God is faithful to your journey. Love and hope will emerge. Be gentle with yourself and befriend any judgment that arises in you.

This excerpt was taken from a weekly meditation. To sign up to receive these, email us.

"So that we may live lives worthy of the Lord and please God in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God."
- Rooted in Colossians 1:10 

Emily Turner is a trained spiritual director and writer. She would love to hear from you.