Be Still And Know That I Am God
“Be still and know that I am God.” In Psalm 46:10 from the Bible, the writer reminds us to know that God is God. This got me thinking. What does it actually mean to know? Especially in the context of intimacy with our Creator.
With several definitions for knowing, the one that seemed most resonant, the one the Psalmist describes might have been this:
“To have developed a relationship through meeting and spending time; to be familiar or friendly with.”
Friendly with God? An interesting concept. It sounds so informal, yet as a Christian, reminds me of Jesus’ many invitations: to sit with Him at the table, to walk with him along the Sea, to sit before Him and listen to His words. Consider, too, His invitation to be alone with God the Father. In Matthew 6:6, He tells us to “go into our room and shut the door to pray.”
Pandemic and quarantine has each day feeling and looking strikingly the same - do I really need to go into “my room” to pray? I seem to have more time to talk to God - in between ZOOM calls with less schlepping back and forth and in and out.
This was just one question I asked Trained Spiritual Director Rev. Sherry Ward when we connected recently to discuss making room for the Holy in our lives.
“My mother used to call it feeling cranky,” says Sherry. “My desire is to be living in the Fruit of the Spirit, but sometimes I just get out of whack, out of alignment. This is when I know I could use some personal retreat time.”
These days, I think we can all relate to feelings of crankiness, but the idea of doing something that feels different, or set apart, from this new normal routine where my home is my office, my restaurant, my social hub - sounded enticing, and Sherry helped to outline some new thinking in terms of taking time out to rest and be with God.
Start Small
When you start to notice that you are exhibiting some behaviors - maybe reactions or even thought processes that don’t align with “how you would like to be,” then consider carving out some time for personal retreat. Don’t beat yourself up for acting a certain way, just take note, consider them a “sign post,” and an invitation to create some space for yourself - to BE with God.
“When I was in seminary, the days were rigorous, and I felt like I really didn’t have time for 2 or 3 hours of retreat at any given time, let alone a weekend or week retreat,” Sherry says. “So I would take short breaks out of my day to meditate, maybe just 3 or 4 minutes to allow the monkey brain to slow down.”
For those of us who are juggling homeschooling children, conducting and attending virtual business meetings in the midst of laundry, the doorbell ringing and other domestic duties, and just life in general, setting out to incorporate a few chunks of quiet time each day, could actually be considered personal retreat time, and a helpful way to make space to receive the nourishment all of our souls need and crave.
A few things to think about:
Consider incorporating a formal prayer method like The Daily Examen, a part of St. Ignatius of Loyola’s Spiritual Exercises, into your day. These exercises are a compilation of meditations, prayers, and contemplative practices developed to help people deepen their relationship with God. Lunchtime Examen, Pray As You Go Examen as well as the Consciousness Examen each provide frameworks for prayer and contemplation, relieving some pressure for you to create your own format.
Incorporate Lectio Divinia each day, a scripture reading practice that applies these four R’s: read, reflect, respond and rest. Lectio is many times practiced in a group but is also a meaningful way to spend time alone with God.
Try keeping a sticky note by your side when you take time out. If something comes into the forefront wanting your attention - pay the water bill; call Daniel back; pick up the dry cleaning - try writing those items down. Get them out of your head and trust that the Holy Spirit will bring them back to your consciousness when you need it.
Set Intention
While it is important to not expect specific outcomes when we take time out for God, it is significant to set an intention. This can look a few different ways:
Carve out time - Is there a day of the week that works best with your schedule? A time of day where you feel closest to the the Divine or simply a time that works best for you in between other commitments? o you need to say no to other tasks in order to make time for refreshment?
Notify those who are close to you - If you don’t live alone, it might be helpful to let children, partners and/or housemates know that you’ll be out of commission for a few hours. Consider silencing your phone if possible.
Identify an area of focus - Do you feel led to read your favorite meditation book? Perhaps reading poetry makes you feel alive, or maybe coloring or painting ushers in quiet? The idea is to find something that connects you to God.
Don’t Hold Too Tight To Your Own Agenda
Whether a “mini-retreat,” that lasts for a few hours once a month or installments of pauses for prayer throughout your day, don’t hold too tight to expected outcomes or how you want to feel at the end of your time with God.
“Just do the things that nurture your soul,” says Sherry. “It is not really helpful to have expectations on how that nourishment will come. Just trust the process and leave the outcome to God; we can’t drive it.”
Rev. Dr. Clay Brantley is a preacher, mystic and retreat leader and suggests individuals attempt to release the notion that they will have a particular experience during times of person retreat, regardless of the length of the experience.
“Many times I don’t even know what I need from retreat time,” shares Clay. “But, I do know that if I’m held hostage to my own agenda or what I think should happen, I’m not allowing space for God to really provide me with renewal - in whatever way the Holy knows I need it.”
In a culture that fixates on metrics and outcomes, I find freedom in knowing God will do the work and felt encouraged and affirmed by Sherry and Clay’s words reminding me that grace and peace are available to us in these quiet moments in “showing up” for God. We might as well sit back and enjoy the process.
What a relief.
Create Space
Biblical texts in Mark 6 remind us that even Jesus needed to depart from his hometown, to get away from his commitments, pressures and distractions. He essentially tells His disciples: “Look, let’s get out of here!”
We will benefit, too, to leave our regular environments to spend time with the Lord - even if just down the hall to the next room.
Tara Isabell Burton, a theologian, author and journalist who was recently interviewed for a New York Times article, shed light on the idea of ritual. The article was addressing the need for ritual in corporate America but its recognition for all of us to have differentiation in our days, I believe, can also be applied to the idea of personal retreat.
“I’m hungry for ritual,” Burton says. “ Every day, I get dressed, put on shoes, make coffee, pour it in a mug and tell my two housemates that I’m heading to work and will see ’em later. Then I walk in a few circles and settle in at a desk in the corner of our living room, just a couple feet away. This is my deranged coronavirus commute and it’s how I help my bleary mind realize that the workday has begun.”
Get Creative
The images of walking in circles before settling into a corner is kind of funny, but Burton is definitely onto something. She is affirming the significance of transition - from externally expressing what we are desiring to feel on the inside.
In planning for a day of personal retreat at home, there’s no exact formula, but here’s some input to keep in mind when planning:
Create a worship space - This could look different depending on your choice of retreat. Perhaps you have a favorite room or chair in your home? Consider the lighting - do you like lamps or natural sunlight? Or, you might connect best to God in nature. In that case, make your walking trail or a spot near the river or lake your worship space for the day. Give yourself freedom to find the place that is best suited to you and your spirit.
Have a Bible or other Holy text nearby - Some might choose to read scripture as their focus, while others might find comfort just by having the text nearby.
Journal - Do you keep record of Holy threads and breadcrumbs in your life? If so, bring it! If not, consider the invitation to bring a notebook to your personal retreat. Use it to write prayers, things you notice or maybe even poems that might emerge. Clay reminds us that it is sometimes most meaningful to expect the unexpected:
“Many times our fingers connect to the Holy much quicker than our heads,” says Clay. “Sometimes words or images will spill onto the page.”
Art - If images, photos or drawing and painting bring quiet to your mind and soul - use art as an area of focus for your time. Even if you do not consider your self an painter or illustrator, you could bring a piece of art or painting to your sacred space, to admire? Where is God in the piece of art? What is the Holy telling me today?
Music - For some classical music or maybe even upbeat rhythms could set the tone for their day. Maybe you’re invitation might be to meditate with the music, or to even move with the music? For others, it could evoke more creativity and connections to the divine or simply provide peaceful background.
Opening and Closing - Identify a way to begin and end your day. With a reflection or prayer. Consider body prayer here. This could involved stating your intention aloud or writing it down. If you’re in retreat with others, this might involve a time of sharing.
“Select your space with items and environment that fits you,” says Sherry. “Your source of holiness.”
However we choose to retreat - on a dock by the lake, in our backyard or in our favorite chair, the idea is that God will meet us there.
“There’s a leaning in that should happen during retreat,” says Clay. “There’s an invitation to myself - for me to be fully present - and to trust that the Holy will be found.”
Retreat House hosts quarterly group retreats. Visit the RH calendar to register.
Another online Retreat Resource includes Abbey of the Arts.
Some nearby (to Dallas) Retreat Centers include:
If you have additional questions about personal retreat, contact Rev. Sherry Ward.
Emily Turner is a Trained Spiritual Director, writer and Retreat House partner.