Ever wonder what it would be like to not have to have the right answer? To have time to wonder, to mull over, explore different ideas and meanings without the expectation of yourself or others to explain why or how you arrived at an answer. To consider that your answer might be I don’t know?

If you spent any time at Retreat House Spirituality Center, online or in person, through formal discussion or informal conversation, you probably know that we are a place and people who cultivate wonder, celebrate Holy Mystery and welcome all to the table.

Beginning September 6, Richard Mickelson, trained spiritual director, and Rev. Dr. Clay Brantley, will launch a 25-week online study focusing on the Gospel of Mary Magadalene using a heart-centered approach to sacred Scripture study. This non-linear way of study known as Midrash will invite participants to use their inner ear for hearing and inner eye for seeing as they make space for the Spirit.

Mickelson has spent time over the past decade plus exploring the feminine side of spirituality, and Retreat House recently connected with him to find out more of his sacred story and this side of his faith journey:

Retreat House: I’m curious. When/how did your interest in Mary Magdalene begin?

Mickelson: I originally became attracted to her when God started me on a more directed path. After I started meeting with a spiritual director and worked with her for a number of years, I became exposed to all three of the gnostic Gospels including Mary Magdalene. There is a book titled the Luminous Gospels where Thomas, Philip and Mary are all highlighted. I have read all of the Gospels separately throughout the years and also had a chance to read Cynthia Bourgeault’s The Meaning of Mary Magdalene: Discovering the Woman at the Heart of Christianity. What really draws me so much to Mary Magdalene is that it appears she is one of the unnamed apostles who really got it. And, when one works their way through this Gospel, it becomes apparent that she might have actually been the most tuned in of all.

Retreat House: Why do you need Mary?

Mickelson: I’ll use the word balance. That is the first thing that comes to my mind. I grew up in kind of a one-sided male dominated situation.  I had an imbalance and was really lacking a feminine lens to things. I was a 60 year-old man when I started to awaken to the feminine side of spirituality through reading the story of Mary Magdalene.

At that point in my life, I was saying wow, this is not how I got it (the Biblical narrative) from my church, from my pastors and most of the people who had surrounded me. Part of my passion now is trying to be a catalyst for others to find the balance of masculine and feminine energy. The energy that Mary Magdalene brings is at least an opportunity for people to examen where they are on that balance.

Retreat House: It sounds like you’ve experienced transformation.

Mickelson: Well, I think I’m on the journey of transformation. I think of all of these gifts. We have the gift of the Bible, and now we have the gift of these gnostic Gospels found in the Nag Hammadi texts that didn’t make it into the Bible. We have them now. All of these documents are things from our desert mothers and fathers. All of the saints we know of - that’s how I think of them - they have left a trail for us to pick up the scent. They’ve left us these gifts that help us to understand and get what Jesus, as the wisdom teacher, was trying to get across to us.

Retreat House: What do you think think Jesus was trying to say?

Mickelson: We need to love as God loves. I can’t even describe what this is — I know it isn’t judgmental. And there’s something about this feminine side of being that I think is really important.

Retreat House: Lovely. How does this connect to your attraction towards Mary Magdalene?

Mickelson: This feminine side of God is probably the weakest leg on the three-legged stool for me. It is the area of feelings, which the feminine energy seems to really be able to hone onto in a much greater extent than the masculine. It is almost like a third of me is cut off. I have been working for a good number of years now on developing and reclaiming this feminine energy, but it still doesn’t come naturally.

Likewise, it is important to realize that by exploring this feminine side we are not attacking the masculine side. There are some energies that males have that we need, too. It is about blending the two.

 It is important to recognize, too, that women can pick up some of the bad habits of masculine energy - overworking, over listed, over doing, these things that can keep us from experiencing what we are really here for.

Retreat House: What do you think we are here for?

Mickelson: I think we are all here for different reasons and given different assignments. It reminds me of this line from one of my favorite Rumi poems:

“It would be as if a king sent you to a village on a specific mission. If you went and performed a hundred other tasks, but neglected to accomplish the task for which you were sent, it would be as though you had done nothing.”

We don’t want to miss our assignment.

And in fact, I think we have to fish for it. I think that is part of being quiet enough to listen to what is shared with us. This is some of what I believe Jesus was talking about and something I think Mary Magdalene seemed to do. I think the Divine, through all of the different systems and realms, is messaging with us. My issue is that sometimes I got/get stuck doing and I forgot to listen. I think if I can keep looking to love as God loves, then I am moving in the right direction, and God will make known what needs to be done.

Retreat House: Thank you so much for sharing. What is your hope for the class you are leading?

Mickelson: I think it gets done in the way that Creator wants it to get done. I have no expectations other than getting this material out and hoping we can have a sacred space where people are comfortable sharing from the deepest part of their heart. The intention is not to take up dogma or improve. I’ve found that these sacred spaces offer some kind of spiritual energy that comes off of a sharing session. And, I trust that will be present.

The other piece of sacred circle is that it helps us dig deeper inside. Many times, new knowing emerges during group sharing because of the way questions or images are used in the sharing. Often, we aren’t even aware of all of the stuff that we hold inside. It is held in our body and experiencing a study like the one we are hosting at Retreat House gives participants a chance to explore sacred story, and this is another way to discover some of those things we carry internally.

It isn’t necessarily that someone is the the genius or the director-type person in the group. What is in that circle, however, is Spirit. And because of this, we have space to explore and discover.

Retreat House: Sounds like this format really allows for some breathing room. We could use more of that these days! Let’s go back to your comment about Mary Magdalene really getting it. Will you explain?

Mickelson: When I look back at my experience with church, there was a time when I did a lot - taught Sunday school, took my kids to Sunday school, involvement in church leadership positions - that kind of thing.

These aren’t bad things, but I also think I was missing a certain piece. The being piece. And it’s interesting, I think probably at some point I knew. Probably when I was 1 month old, 5 months old, 1 year old, I knew and then culture sort of scrambled everything up.

Mickelson said he is looking forward to gathering with new and old friends for the study. He and Brantley will invite participants to engage and explore sacred texts through the heart. This group process will allow the beauty of wisdom to lead the way. Through the pairing of written wisdom texts accompanied with visual illuminations the group will look beyond the literal, linear mind to a deeper and more powerful non-linear seeing.

Registration is full for The Gospel of Mary Magdalene: A study and time for collective contemplation and deeper exploration. Due to the positive response in this offering, we are considering the possibility of offering something similar in Winter 2023. Email Richard to inquire.

This interview was conducted by Emily Turner. Emily is a trained spiritual director who works closely with Retreat House to tell sacred stories. Part of her ministry is to facilitate healing through listening, prayer and writing. Send her a note!