The Porpoise of Purpose: A prayerful and playful reflection

The Holy misses us when we are not present. A few days ago, I was blessed to spend time on silent retreat to listen to my inner being, to hear the Holy wooing me back to Presence. At first there were not words, only a nudge to show up and listen.

Embracing no words, I was drawn to spend time with the Artist Within, to draw a scribble prayer and to let my soul take shape on the paper before me. I set down the half of the broken black stone that I brought from morning meditation. It appeared to the left. It became the egg in the nest of the tree that emerged on the page, a picture of my soul. I wondered where the other half of the stone (egg) might be? It appeared to the right, hidden beneath layers of steel blue, out of my awareness.

I sat with the color and the images that began to awaken me. And You, just like You, You spoke.

“Turn to me,” You said. “Look again.”

You reminded me.

So, I turned the image 90 degrees once and lingered. I turned the image 90 degrees twice and lingered. And, then, just as the dolphin leaps with surprise out of the water, plays with the breath of the sea, and returns to the pool with a spectacular splash, the porpoise leaped off the page, stirred my curiosity, and invited me to look past death to see the new life You desire for me to see.

“Remember me,” You said.

Accepting Your invitation, these are the words that splashed onto the page:

The Porpoise of Purpose

by Lil Smith

the egg is broken

in the nest

the storm that blew

through tossed

the leaves the limbs the branches

but the nest hangs on by a thread

life spilled out

what does this mean

all I see is a mess

the cold steel of death

with the final word

48

but then

I heard Your voice

turn to me

you said

look again

one, two

I see me broken in two

not with death between us

but a creature of yours

the porpoise of purpose

inviting me to see possibility

a path to wholeness

reintegration

renewal

remembering

your invitation to look

for the way you are

in the midst of

the faith healer

life healer

true guide

and I no longer

fear the egg

broken in the nest

This reflection and poem was written by Rev. Dr. Lil Smith for House of Remembrance. You can purchase a copy of this book on our website. Smith is co-founder and director of Retreat House Spirituality Center. You can learn more about Lil here.