By Tee Bolin

For the last several years, I have signed most of my personal emails with the closing “Blessings.” It was my small way of proclaiming that I am a Christian and that I pray for God’s best and God’s grace to be showered upon you in whatever form or in whatever need you might have.

It seemed the perfect ending to my emails in that I would let the person(s) know that at that precise moment I was praying God’s blessings on them.

Though some might say it was rather generic, in my assessment it was one word that would cover a vast array of overarching topics and responses.

It works in times of grief and mourning yet was just as applicable in times of joy and celebration or just as a check in or inquiry with an important person in my life.

I am not sure what day it was or even how long ago it was, but I noticed that I started signing off on some emails with the additional word “Peace.”

Unconsciously, I was starting to sign several of my emails with “Peace and Blessings.” I am not sure how cognizant I was or am to why or when I started adding the word peace but obviously there was something stirring in my being that was not peaceful. My soul knew and was telling my head, “Hey we need some peace!”

My best guess would be it started regularly sometime during the lockdown of Covid-19, probably after my dad passed from Covid-19 complications in January 2021.Obviously, I somehow felt convicted to start sharing “peace” with my friends and colleagues in addition to the blessings that I was praying. Somehow all this static noise, this constant discourse and polarization had stealthily slipped into my very being uninvited! Subtly, my soul was transforming from a safe harbor of peace to a wasteland of stress and grief and even unrest.

And, then, just like that, my emails started to occasionally drop the word “blessings” and just ended with the singular word “Peace.”

I guess my soul discerned for me what was most important to its survival. As I look through several of my emails over the last few days, the majority are just signed “Peace.” There are still the occasional “Blessings,” especially if there is a situation that I think needs encouragement or thankful affirmation, but the majority have shifted simply to the word “Peace.”

Today is November 30, 2021, and it is the last day to submit an original piece for the Retreat House offering on peace. I would never even have considered a submission until I read Gretchen’s email and the words on this page just suddenly surfaced.

Isn’t that just like spiritual direction though? We hear a word that brings up something in us that we failed to notice, or even a shift that moved us from one place to the other which we now recognize as an unconscious minor change that reflects a much larger movement.

As I attempt to absorb and process these epiphanies, the first noticing for me is how different these words can be used. The word “Blessings” strikes me as invitational and comforting. It connotates a sacred prayer and pleading with the Divine One. When I use the word “Blessings,” I really feel like I am interceding and inviting or perhaps even affirming God into life.

It is a word offered as a gift for that person and their situation. When I contemplate the word “Peace,” surprisingly, the first associated word that comes to my mind was the word “command,” which Jesus used to still the water. . . . Peace be still he spoke. It was spoken with authority and the absolute confidence that it would happen. Naively I had thought I was using sacred interchangeable signage in my emails. Either or both were intended to tell the recipient that they were significant to me and to my life’s journey.

It was not until this very moment that I became aware as to the possible intended spiritual use of my email signature. Not until this very moment did I realize that I was now commanding peace amid all the turmoil. By closing with the word “Peace,” I was now asking Jesus to take command of the situation. Jesus, please take control of the ugly words and injustices springing up in all factions of our lives. I was begging Jesus to help me (and others) to face this growing division in the face of my storm of confusion and disappointment.

Better yet, that one word “Peace” represented all the words in Philippians 4:6-7 when we are told “don’t worry about anything, instead pray about everything.”

Deep Breath. . . . Sharing this I already feel more at peace. Like a great spiritual direction session. I have noticed and reflected on where God is and will be in both of those words. Will it change the significance in when or how I use them? Probably not. But it has changed me and how I acknowledge how the Holy Spirit is moving and working within my core being.

From blessings to peace was written by Tee Bolin and originally published in House of Peace. You can purchase a copy here.

A businesswoman by necessity and a spiritual director by grace, Tee is a graduate of the Perkins Certification of Spiritual Direction program. More recently, she is in the process of completing supervisory training in the Together in Ministry program. Tee is blessed to remain connected to Perkins through recurring opportunities as a small group leader and teacher with new student cohorts. Tee resides in the small community of Antioch, Arkansas, about 40 minutes outside of Little Rock, on a small farm with her horses and dogs.

When Tee is not working in Little Rock or on the farm, she is usually traveling to join her husband Michael, who is an ordained elder in the United Methodist church. Michael and Tee have one daughter, Cheyann, who is a part-time local pastor. Cheyann is married to Jason, who is also a pastor; together they have the privilege of raising Bo and Tripp. In addition to finding time for Bo and spiritual direction, Tee likes to ride motorcycles with her husband and spend time in Costa Rica.

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