Dr. Ruben Habito took time to connect with us from across the ocean. After recently retiring or as prefers to spell it - re-tiring. At 77, he likes to think of this season as a time to install new tires on his vehicle as he prepares for the next part of his journey. This pit stop includes time with his wife Maria and her family in Germany before settling into their new home in Santa Fe. Ruben discusses where he’s come from, where he has been, where he is going and noticing the Presence of the Holy through it all.

Many of us in the Retreat House community met Ruben through his work at Perkins School of Theology at SMU where he served as head of the spiritual formation program for seminary students as well as director of their spiritual direction program. He has impacted many of us with his loving and gentle wisdom reminding us all that we are indeed beloved. As a spiritual director, author and teacher, Ruben has shared his love of God through many channels. One aspect that makes his life particularly inspiring is his ability to combine Eastern religious teachings with his Christian tradition. Did you know he was a Jesuit priest before meeting his wife?

Ruben is not an either-or person, but a both-and person. Wisdom we can learn from and share especially in the divided world in which we currently find ourselves.  

We’re grateful for the invitations he gives himself and those around him to remember their breath, their holy breath – a practice he incorporates regularly. It was a true delight to visit with him for episode 13 of our podcast. We hope you’ll listen to the full episode, but for those who enjoy the written word, we’ve pulled a few segments of our conversation with Ruben for you to enjoy below. Our prayer and hope is this conversation reminds you to pause and take a breath, or two, or more!

New tires

Retreat House: What have you been up to?

Ruben: I write the word retirement with a hyphen. Re-tirement. I understand that to be to getting new tires for this new phase of my journey. That’s where I feel I am. Getting new tires installed so I can get ready for my next phase.

Where will the new tires take me? I confess I do not know yet. I am still in the discernment phase. I know I still want to write a few more things that will come from the realm of the Spirit. I would like to describe some things that I believe to be important that I could share with possible readers. As Mary Oliver wrote in her poem what should I do with my one, wild and precious life? That is my question that is before me at this point now that I will be free from regular commitments of classes. I have all this time in the world with whatever amount of time I am given to live on this Earth. What is the best way I can live? When I breathe my last breath I want to look back and say: “that was a good ride, I have no regrets.”

For that, I am thinking of going back to Philippines and staying a month at a Jesuit retreat house there and going back to spiritual exercises of St. Ignatius of Loyola that has been a source of spiritual nourishment for all these years that I have been active in whatever I have been doing.

Making space for pauses

Retreat House: Tell us more about the exercises and their influence on your journey.

Ruben: The Ignatian Exercises are based on the unconditional love I have been given by God and continue to be given. How can I give this unconditional love back to those I meet in the world? That is the underlying question of the spiritual exercises and what I hope to discern during some of this season. Right now, we have focused on moving from Dallas to Santa Fe. When we go back there in September, I will begin a process of discernment. I am looking forward to this time just to be and to discern how I may go forward. And I think this is something people should consider giving themselves. A time to pause and reflect.

I encourage people to pay attention to those nudges the nudges that might be saying hmmm maybe there is room in my life for a little something different or something very different. The point is to give oneself time and space to be able to look at that and listen from within. That is basically what discernment is all about. I supposed this is the greatest thing I have learned from my life as a Jesuit and my life after leaving the Jesuit. I as a Jesuit for 25 years and was grateful for every minute of it. I have been out of the Jesuits and have been married for almost 35 years, and I am also grateful for every minute of that. One could say I have had the best of both worlds.

Two great loves

Retreat House: Why did you leave the Jesuits?

Ruben: To tell you the truth I fell in love for the second time. I had my very first love (God) that brought me to the Jesuits. This love drew me to a life of chastity, poverty and obedience. But then I fell in love for the second time (Maria). I had to consult with my first love when I fell in love for the second time and found myself desiring to be with this person for the rest of my life. I wanted the encouragement and approval of my first love to fully include my second love in my life. The big thing I learned since my entry into the Jesuits is that my love for God is a constant no matter what. I am not here by my own will. I am called into this life by something I can only call unconditional love, and I wanted to do all I could to give back all of the love I had and have received.

Joy of just being

Retreat House: When were you introduced to centering prayer and Zen meditation? My assignment was to teach at a Jesuit University in Japan about five years into being a Jesuit. Part of that season was to learn the Japanese language. This is also where I was introduced to Zen meditation. I got into Buddhist philosophy when I was in the language school in Japan. One of my main teachers there was my spiritual director Father Thomas Hand from California. He invited me to jin him in a Zen meditation group that was led by a Buddhist Zen Master. To make a long story short, I was taught a way of contemplative practice where I was invited to take a posture of stillness and breathing with intention. I was taught here to relish the fact of being. I learn to not focus on doing or trying to accomplish but instead the sheer joy of just being.

This interview was conducted and transcribed by Emily Turner Watson. She is a trained spiritual director, writer and podcast host for Tending Spaces to Bear Spiritual Fruit.

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